We’re Engaged!
After an official photo shoot in front of many curious Finnish onlookers, we found a more secluded spot to prop the phone and take some photos of our own.
Jessica comes from a family of artists. Aunts, uncles, and cousins put brush to canvas and chisel to wood.
Jessica’s parents, Phyllis and Paul, work together to create stained glass pieces that catch the sun and spray color across a room. Phyllis’ dad, Arthur, was a professional cartoonist. Her mom, Rita, was a painter. Paul’s mom, Hennie, paints abstracts. His dad, Hans, worked with metal.
A Glint in Her Eye
Jessica and I have a video call or two every day when we’re long distance. The 12-hour time difference works out surprisingly well. We talk around 7 am/pm when we’re eating breakfast/dinner.
This March, Jessica called. She had the twinkle in her eye that usually precedes one of her big ideas.
“I was thinking we go to Oslo and Helsinki for 12 days this summer.”
I had my typical first reaction.
“I don’t know. The renovation drained the budget… 12 days. That’s a lot.”
Jessica was ready.
“I made a budget for the trip. We can shorten it if you think that would be better.”
And so I looked at the budget, shrank the itinerary by a few days, and decided it would be nice to return to our stomping grounds. We would head to Oslo, then Helsinki for 8 days at the end of July.
I brewed my coffee and called Jessica to let her know. She had that glint in her eye again.
She said, “I was thinking maybe you propose to me in Finland.”
Twisted Silver
The day we moved to Finland we took a walk through Kaivopuisto to the Baltic Sea. Our feet brought us to a small dock surrounded by sailboats. Five years later, we returned to that dock, and I slipped the ring onto Jessica’s finger.
Our engagement may have come as a bit of a surprise to some. We haven’t always followed tradition. This was not a surprise for either of us.
Before setting off for our trip, we talked through the idea for months. I told Jessica I would propose on Wednesday. We picked the ring together on Tuesday in a street market in Helsinki.
It is a simple ring of twisted silver. It looks just like something Hans would have made in his home workshop in Bloomfield—an homage to the patriarch of the Stargardter family.
Jessica wrote a beautiful post in Hans’ memory a few years ago: Cornflake Ice Cream
Introvertti and Vaatimaton
On our walks through through Casco Viejo in Panama, it was common for Jessica and me to come across families in floral dresses posing for quinceañera photo shoots. Tías leaned in between photos with woven fans to keep the humidity from ruining their niece’s makeup.
It is not so in Finland. Introversion (introvertti) and lack of public display (vaatimaton) are among the top cultural traits of Finns… I hired a photographer.
Gerda takes beautiful photos. She captured the moment I bent my knee and took us for a walk through the park. She posed us, asked us to run into the street and spin around and rub our noses together.
Finns looked on in horrified fascination. It was excruciating for me, though Jessica was sweet about it. I am sure we will be so happy to have the photos.
Calls & Texts
We sat outside at Ravintola Elm to enjoy the Finnish summer.
We followed up the photo shoot with a quiet dinner at Ravintola Elm. We both looked at the prices and decided we were only hungry for salad and ice cream. That, we decided afterward, is probably the best way to enjoy any expensive restaurant.
We took some photos of our own (in a more secluded area) and made video calls and texts. Experiencing this moment with family and friends was the best part for both of us. There were whoops of joy, spontaneous tears, and a couple of questions that we aren’t ready to answer.
FAQs (with some possibly unsatisfying answers)
Will there be a wedding? When?
Not sure! It could be a while.
Does this mean Jessica is returning to the United States? If so, when?
Yes! Eventually!
